I looked at the journal I sporadically write in. Oh how I wish I wrote daily in my journal. But I looked at my praises and prayer requests and I see evidence of God all over the place. It’s so encouraging when He answers in my favor and disappointing when He does not. God is faithful and good when He answers in my favor, He is faithful and good when He says no, and He is faithful and good when He says wait. I noticed that many of my requests are in the waiting category, waiting to be checked off. I’m faithfully waiting too
Then I wonder...how faithful am I while I wait? What does waiting on Him look like? In my head, the Godly answer would look like this: I read the Bible, I pray, I journal, I worship, I fellowship with others and go about my days peacefully trusting in my Lord for all the things I am waiting on. However, in reality, my wait often looks like this: I watch Netflix, I eat comfort foods, I cry, I isolate, I get busy, I shake my fist at God wondering if He’s really there.
Sometimes the wait is long and my prayer request are overwhelming. I have a friend who has been married for 23 years and her husband confessed he does not believe in God anymore. My 16 year old son has a chronic illness that he’s forced to manage daily. He just wants energy and relief from headaches and brain fog. My 14 year old son has a leg length discrepancy and requires one shoe to be externally lifted to help knee, hip and back pain. He prays daily that the right leg would have growing pains like his left leg. My daughters want to know what they should do with their lives in college, careers, and relationships. My mom fell and broke her leg and found out her bones are too soft for the plate that should hold her bones together. Another friend is watching her dad slowly die of cancer and other health issues. My husband works hard, long hours in his own business. We wait for routineness and “normalcy.” I have an autoimmune disorder and my thyroid is attacked. I pray for energy and stability. I pray and wait for great families to host exchange kids, hoping their lives will eternally be impacted. My sweet friend has a son who feels misunderstood and judged. These are only a few of the requests I lift to the Lord and long for His answers.
God is there. God is faithful. God is aware. God is in charge. …Even while I wait. I yearn to look at the bigger picture in life and focus on what really matters in the end. All these things matter to God. But how does He become my Hero in the heaviness? Do I really give Him my stuff? When I worry, I am not completely trusting God’s goodness in the situation. When I fret and become anxious, I am not coming to Him with child- like faith. When I fear the worst, I am not completely resting in His Sovereign plan. My fears become my focus, and my Hero becomes a blur. Then I respond in desperation. Relationship is broken.
New Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional by Paul David Tripp, explains that some of us want the “prozac Jesus” who makes us feel better, or the “vacation planner Jesus” who takes us to “paradise”, or maybe we want the “suggestion box Jesus” who does not hand out commands, just suggestions. There’s the “district attorney Jesus” who will go get those who have hurt us and let us down. “Match.com Jesus” give us that person to meet our needs now and the “Nieman Marcus Jesus” who will deliver us the golden dream.
As I wait…wait... and wait some more, I truly want the One Hero, the One and Only Jesus to be leading my life. He is the One who loves me and my family and friends. He loves us in our flaws, teaches us patience, gives us peace, releases us from fears and worries, helps us in trouble. He accepts us right where we are and He waits with us. Our relationship with Him is most valuable. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..." James 4:8
Jill has been married to Rod for 24 years. They have 4 active kids, 14-20 years old. Jill loves being a wife, mom and working with teenagers. She also enjoys teaching group fitness classes, coffee and sunshine!